Friday was a bad day for me. My store manager of 10 years and dear friend, Nicki, quit to start her own business. I am very happy for her but I will sorely miss my partner in crime. Jillian, one of our best employees and a woman with a huge heart, also left this week for another position. We will miss her sunny disposition and sweet smile. My gentle friend Monica was told there was nothing that could really be done for her cancer. They are just trying to make her comfortable. Her daughter is getting married today. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling today. How does one face their own mortality? Oh, yeah, and then, we got a new Fed Ex delivery guy. While this may not seem especially tragic you haven't seen David. I am 50 years old and blush when I see him. He looks like a Greek god with an electric smile.
I just feel overwhelmed with loss right now. I know the older we get the more we have to experience loss. I have buried my parents and younger brother. I have only a sister left and she is in Canada being all Canadian, she even says "Eh" now. I just don't want to lose any more people. Growing up, my father was in the Air Force so we moved all the time. We would get settled, make friends, then uproot again. It was hard so I decided I would not do that to my kids. We have lived in Omaha most of their lives. They are "Nebraskans", they have an identity that I never did. They still live here. Daniel lives two blocks away and Jordan about 10 miles from me. I don't want that to change.
Yes, a pretty crappy week indeed but when I went to see Mia yesterday, it just all melted away. I watch Mia on Friday evenings so her parents Jordan (my son) and Leah can have some time to do whatever they would like. After they left, Mia got the Ipad and asked for Elmo (Melmo). She got very frustrated with me because I did not know the password. She took my finger and put it on the Ipad to put in the code and looked at me in disbelief and dismay because I did not know it. I am a fast thinker so I asked her if she wanted to go outside and the situation was quickly diffused as she ran to get her shoes. Mia likes being outside even better than Melmo. Mia likes going outside better than anything.
So out we went. We picked dandelions and violets and she carried them in her hands the whole time we were outside. We sniffed the pine tree, barked at some dogs, played in the dirt and blew bubbles. We sang really over the top versions of songs which she loved. Pattycake included really shaking your head and hands as you throw the cake in the pan and none of the piggies get roast beef in our world, they all get corn, every one of them, even the one that wee, wee, wees all the way home.
Doesn't that make more sense anyway?
Yes, grandkids bring out your silly side. They bring a sense of lightness and levity. The sillier you are, the more they love it. And people don't look at you, scowl, and think "What's up with that crazy woman?" They smile and know you are a great grandmother.
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