Mom's favorite

Well, today is Mother's Day and I saw the above ecard and just had to smile. My mother was a genius at making my brother, sister and me all feel like we were her favorite child. I take that back, we each KNEW we were her favorite and will argue the point even today.

This is really remarkable because outsiders can look at a family and quickly know the mother's favorite child, but not with my mom. My sister, Vicki, was "the favorite" because she was the oldest, athletic and outgoing. I was "the favorite" as being the middle child I was the peace maker, the sweet one, the hard working one. Tommy was "the favorite" because he was the baby, adorable, charming and popular. She really had a gift at making us each feel so special. My mother passed away many years ago so we will never know for sure who was the favorite, but that is okay. I know it was me.

A'postrophe's

Ugh! I am so tired of folks misusing apostrophes, it is driving me nuts! When did apostrophes start to show pluralization? It is so common now. I ask my sons to tell me the proper use of apostrophes and, thankfully, they do know how to use them, but I still quiz them periodically so they don't forget.

Yesterday, I got an email from a woman who wrote, "we eat a lot of potatoe's, tomato's and cucumbers." I was baffled. She knew that potatoes had a "e" in it but not tomatoes. She put an apostrophe in both to show pluralization but not in cucumbers, which was the only correct word!

Okay, here are the rules:
Apostrophes are used to show possession, Mary's hat, to show the hat belongs to Mary.
Apostrophes are use to show missing letters or numbers, can't = cannot less a n and o
'80s stands for 1980s less the 19, ya'll = you all less the ou in you.
Apostrophes are never use to show multiples, the letter s is= items, houses, etc.

Incorrect:
The Beatle's made great music
Correct
The Beatles  made great music.
The Beatle's music was amazing

Incorrect
I went to high school in the 80's.
Correct
I went to high school in the '80s.


What baffles me is, if you don't know how to use an apostrophe properly, why even bother? Just never use them, you would be accurate far more often just never using them at all. Additionally, you can live an apostrophe less- life. You can totally avoid them because they are not used for pluralization. You can use the full words, "would not" instead of "wouldn't", you can avoid possession, instead of "Kelly's House", it could be the "house that belongs to Kelly", okay, a little awkward but you get my point.

Here is the issue that frightens me most, the misuse of apostrophes  has become so commonplace that it will start to look right. For example, the lovely phrase "a whole 'nother". It sounds correct because it has been so imbedded in our vernacular. Saying "another whole ballgame" actually sounds clumsy and does not roll off the tongue.

When you are immersed in a culture that keeps using a colloquialism or improper punctuation, you often find yourself using them as well. I swore when I moved to Nebraska I would never use to term "pop" for soft drinks and tell someone to "have a good one" as a goodbye. But here I am "popping" and "having a good one" all over the place.

 I know that everything is being abbreviated and shortened but I just want people to still write well. I get several emails daily that have to be decrypted but some are undecipherable. I waste a lot of time trying to figure out what they are writing, in their saving time, they waste mine. I actually have to stop and think about when to use too, two, to, there, their, they're, my grammar is slipping as I am bombarded with numbers instead of words (2, 4, B4, UR). I don't want to lose the ability to write properly and I am very concerned with the children being able to communicate with grace at all. 

Maybe, I am old fashioned but I love well written work. I just hope we don't lose that. I want my granddaughter, Mia, to read wonderfully scripted books, letters and emails, not well written texts though, I understand they are too far gone, IMO, SMH

Comfort Food

As I wrote a bit earlier, I had a bad week so I decided Macaroni and Cheese was just the sort of comfort food I wanted for lunch. I made up a box of Velveta Shells and Cheese. Now I don't delude myself. I know the box says "three servings". I don't pretend I am not going to eat the whole box. I don't put some in a bowl and then get more helpings. I just grab a fork and sit down with the pan. But I did not eat the whole box technically. I cooked it in a smaller pot than I should have the water bowled over and some of the pasta stuck to the bottom. So I did not eat the whole box. I did however use the entire bag of cheese even though there was less pasta. It was super cheesy. Gotta' say, I really recommend it!

Loss and Silliness

My granddaughter Mia makes me silly.


Friday was a bad day for me. My store manager of 10 years and dear friend, Nicki, quit to start her own business. I am very happy for her but I will sorely miss my partner in crime. Jillian, one of our best employees and a woman with a huge heart, also left this week for another position. We will miss her sunny disposition and sweet smile. My gentle friend Monica was told there was nothing that could really be done for her cancer. They are just trying to make her comfortable. Her daughter is getting married today. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling today. How does one face their own mortality? Oh, yeah, and then, we got a new Fed Ex delivery guy. While this may not seem especially tragic you haven't seen David. I am 50 years old and blush when I see him. He looks like a Greek god with an electric smile.

I just feel overwhelmed with loss right now. I know the older we get the more we have to experience loss. I have buried my parents and younger brother. I have only a sister left and she is in Canada being all Canadian, she even says "Eh" now. I just don't want to lose any more people. Growing up, my father was in the Air Force so we moved all the time. We would get settled, make friends, then uproot again. It was hard so I decided I would not do that to my kids. We have lived in Omaha most of their lives. They are "Nebraskans", they have an identity that I never did. They still live here. Daniel lives two blocks away and Jordan about 10 miles from me. I don't want that to change.

Yes, a pretty crappy week indeed but when I went to see Mia yesterday, it just all melted away. I watch Mia on Friday evenings so her parents Jordan (my son) and Leah can have some time to do whatever they would like. After they left, Mia got the Ipad and asked for Elmo (Melmo). She got very frustrated with me because I did not know the password. She took my finger and put it on the Ipad to put in the code and looked at me in disbelief and dismay because I did not know it. I am a fast thinker so I asked her if she wanted to go outside and the situation was quickly diffused as she ran to get her shoes. Mia likes being outside even better than Melmo. Mia likes going outside better than anything.

So out we went. We picked dandelions and violets and she carried them in her hands the whole time we were outside. We sniffed the pine tree, barked at some dogs, played in the dirt and blew bubbles. We sang really over the top versions of songs which she loved. Pattycake included really shaking your head and hands as you throw the cake in the pan and none of the piggies get roast beef in our world, they all get corn, every one of them, even the one that wee, wee, wees all the way home.
 Doesn't that make more sense anyway? 

Yes, grandkids bring out your silly side. They bring a sense of lightness and levity. The sillier you are, the more they love it. And people don't look at you, scowl, and think "What's up with that crazy woman?" They smile and know you are a great grandmother.

Happy May to you!

May is such an amazing month, we get to plant things. Later on in this posting is an article on Moon Gardening. I love the concept of moon gardening . My husband Charlie’s favorite flower is the moonflower. The way it opens as the sun sets and how it glows in the dark is enchanting. Every year to no avail, I try to plant moonflowers for him. Every year the seeds get washed away by heavy rains, birds eat them, or the earth devours them whole so we don’t get our beloved moonflowers.

Last year I was thrilled to find some plants marked “moonflowers” at a local nursery. I was so excited, usually you can only find seeds. The leaves looked a little suspicious and my suspicions grew when the vine later became covered with little yellow flowers. Yep, we had a bumper crop of cucumbers but no moonflowers!

I am not thwarted though, I know this will be the year I finally get moonflowers. I have two packets of seeds ready to go!

The Magical Moon Garden

By Patti Wigington

Many of us love to garden, but a lot of people don't realize you can grow plants and flowers that bloom at night. Cultivating a moon garden is a great way to get in touch with nature, and it provides a beautiful and fragrant backdrop for your moonlight rituals in the summer. If you plant these lovelies close to your house, you can open the windows and take advantage of their aromas as you sleep.

Many night-blooming plants are white, and give a luminous appearance in the moonlight. If you plant them in a circle or a crescent shape, when they bloom, you'll have the moon herself right there "as above, so below." There are a number of plants that open at night -- mix them in with silver-foliaged day bloomers.

Night Blooming Plants

• Moonflower: Yes, it should be painfully obvious, but the Moonflower really does bloom at night. It releases a slightly lemony scent when it opens up, and during the day the white flowers are tightly shut. Some species of this climbing plant, a cousin of the Morning Glory, can get up to eight feet long*. The flowers, when open, are around 5 - 6" in diameter.
• Evening Primrose: This perennial spreads rapidly, and can cover a lot of ground for you. The pale pinkish-white flowers open at dusk, and release a sweet aroma.
• Night Phlox: these pretties open up at dusk, and have a fragrance reminiscent of honey or vanilla.
• Evening Stock: the tiny purple and pink flowers aren't very fancy, but they smell divine when they open at night.
• Angel's Trumpet: Another vine, this annual spreads like crazy. Its trumpet-shaped, white flowers have a bell-like appearance when open.
• Night Gladiolus: this plant isn't actually nocturnal, but that's when the creamy yellow flowers smell the strongest -- it's a very spicy scent that's a glorious addition to any night garden.

Day Blooming White and Silver Plants

• Dusty Millers
• Silver Thyme
• Lamb's Ears
• Mugwort (Artemesia)
• Silver Sage
• White vegetables such as Alba eggplants or Baby Boo or Lumina pumpkins

Herbs and Flowers with Lunar Connections

• Camphor
• Eucalyptus
• Gardenia
• Jasmine
• Moonwort
• Sandalwood
• Willow
• Water Lily
• Sleepwort

What to do With Your Moon Garden Plants

When you have plants that have blossomed under the powerful energy of a full moon, the possibilities are just about endless. Harvest the flowers and dry them to use in talismans or charms. Use them to dress a Full Moon Candle or as part of a purification bath. Include them in incense blends to help enhance your intuition and wisdom.

*Note: Be sure to provide a trellis or other support for climbers like the Moonflower. If they don't have a stable surface to hang onto, they're less likely to fully bloom.

Picture from: 10000birds.com

A Good Day

A Good Day

Sometimes giving someone a good day is the greatest gift you can give them.

My dear friend, Monica, is struggling with cancer. Her daughters and friends all want to give her a good day. We bring her her favorite soup from a little Italian restaurant she loves, bring her books and the complete set of “Friday Night Lights” to watch, strawberries, tea and the newest perfume that L’Occitane has come up with as she is so excited to try it. Her days are so full of pain and exhaustion, it would make us so happy if she just had one good day.

It is easy to wish Monica a good day. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. It fills our hearts with sadness to see her struggle. What most of us don’t think about is the other people that really need a good day too. I was in a park and a homeless man came up to me to ask for some money. I gave him a $10 bill. A man in an expensive suit saw this. He snarled at me and said with disdain, “You know, he will just spend that on liquor. He won’t buy food with it.” My response was, “I don’t care, I gave him a good day.” That man may have bought food, he may have bought beer, perhaps even a  newspaper and a latte. It did not matter because for a little while, his only thoughts were how he could spend the money in any way he wanted. I won’t miss that $10, it is the cost of a lunch or tube of mascara but that was all the money in the world to him. 

When my son was younger, he would love it when I would take him out to eat on Saturdays. We would get an extra meal to go, complete with a drink and a cookie or dessert. We would place it on a bench in the park where the homeless would go. We never knew who got our meals but we like to think we gave someone a good day. For one day, he or she did not have to worry about having something to eat. For one day, they had a complete, tasty meal and a full stomach.

So often, we tend to deem whether someone is worthy of kindness.  We judge them without knowing what they are going through.  We cannot turn their lives around but we can just give them one good day.

Sing Loudly

Grandchildren love it when you sing. They will make you feel like a rock star when you cannot hold a tune. I, personally, am a terrible singer, I mean really bad. I am not one of those people that say they cannot sing and then manage a decent rendition of “Happy Birthday”. When I sing, dogs howl. My whole family was like this. I apologized to my sons Jordan and Daniel for the abyss in our gene pool for musical talent.

But when I sing to Mia, my granddaughter who is 17 months old, her eyes light up. I can sing anything to her and she loves it. When she was really young she liked the National American University commercial jingle (One day, one night, Saturday’s all right, online’s just fine, nighttime any time, get your degree, set yourself free, National American University). I was so thankful for this commercial when she was cranky. It worked like a charm every time. 

Now that she is a bit older, I make up silly songs for her. She loves Elmo so we sing, “Hi Elmo Hi, you’re our favorite guy, Hi Elmo Hi”. Or sometimes I will make up other silly songs:

The Pink Baboon in the silver balloon

Is singing his tune as he flies past the moon

We hope he stops soon

He is such a buffoon

He came from the saloon

‘been drinking since noon

Now he’s starting to croon

He’ll sing until June

It is like a cartoon!

Grandchildren give you an excuse to be silly and lighthearted. The more flourish and gestures you add with your songs, the more they love it. Be goofy and sing loudly.